DSM

For those people who do not believe mental illness exists, suck it. It is not easy posting this type of stuff, however I always end up reassured it is helping someone else by doing so.

I am no longer afraid to admit what I go through. I am not doing this for attention and I do not want your sympathy. I am simply advocating mental illness. It is real. Do not ignore it or signs from people you know.

...It is reported Ms. Miller first sought treatment for attention difficulties in 2007, which resulted in the suggestion she quit taking college courses at that time. She stated that she experienced a severe depressive episode in 2010, but was able to hide the symptoms. 

Regarding anxiety, she states that she has been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. She reported being tested for depression in December 2011 and diagnosed with Mood Disorder NOS. She reported seeing a therapist twice at The University of Akron's Counseling Center where they advised her to go to the hospital and she declined. She reported attending 2 other sessions with various therapists. 

Regarding psychiatrist hospitalizations, she reported she was admitted to a psychiatrist unit for a few weeks in November of 2011, and following in a Partial Hospitalization Program. She reports having suicidal ideation prior to hospitalization. She is currently engaged in psychiatric treatment.

She described her mood as somewhere between "normal/stable" and "depressed, sad or blue". She admitted she oversleeps and has trouble concentrating. Regarding anxiety, she admitted to feeling nervous, anxious, or on edge, not being able to stop or control her worrying, worrying too much about different things, trouble relaxing, being so restless it can be hard to sit still, becoming easily annoyed or irritable, and feeling afraid as if something awful might happen. 

She stated that she worries about her future and her ability to be successful. Regarding depression, she reported loss in pleasure of in activities that were once found enjoyable, sadness, feeling down on herself, restless, irritability, thoughts of better off dead, fatigue, and difficulties concentrating. She stated all of the symptoms listed previously have been extremely intrusive and affected her daily chores and activities.

Axis I    
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
Major Depressive Disorder, recurrent
Learning Disorder NOS

Axis II
Deferred

Axis III
None reported

Axis IV
Interpersonal difficulties, education difficulties

Axis V
Serious symptoms, or serious impairment in one of the following: social, occupational, or school functioning.

Grow Some Balls

Wanna complain about how stressful your job is? Pshh please! Take my job for a day and you're going to look like a pansy. 

I love my job, but it is extremely mentally and physically draining. This is no lie. I deal with irrational behaviors on a daily basis. Sometimes, I put so much time in effort into making a kid understand their irrational decisions and make their day turn around for the best then an hour later you're their worst enemy. I have been physically attacked, spit on, kicked, punched, hair pulled, bit, verbally attacked, witnessed suicide attempts, witnessed self abuse, exposure, etc... Then later on that night they want a hug or tucked in for bed. Or go weeks without talking to you even after you try.

Physically, when they become a threat to themselves, a peer or an adult we have to intervene generally resulting in a restraint. Our philosophy is to be as therapeutic as possible. Therefore we only use hands on restraints. This is where the physical work comes into play. Holding someone down who is engaging in harmful behaviors is quite tough. We are also required to remain neutral during any circumstance. There have been times where I have wanted to scream and cry or spit back in their face but cannot.

There are also many rules to follow, not only when being hands on, but in general. Client confidentiality, HIPPA laws, not exposing personal information about yourself, etc..

The job requires a lot of patience. A LOT OF PATIENCE! I can honestly say I feel like I fit the job very well. I have received multiple compliments from supervisors about my performance. I have an "unusual but therapeutic way of working with the kids". With this being said I am highly satisfied with myself. I have gained sooooo much knowledge from this job. Skills that will forever make myself a better person.

So, with this all being said, next time you want to complain about your job being "stressful"... remember other people can handle shit like this. So suck it up!!

I Am...

I am 24 years old.

I am a female.
I sleep too much.
I am a hopeless romantic.
I need caffeine.
I love cotton scents.
I want to learn about Buddhism.
I am not chubby.
I am not skinny.
I have green eyes.
I have dirty blonde hair.
I am self conscious about my body.
I am pretty.
I find the mind fascinating.
I rely on medication.
I love the color aqua and black.
I have bad allergies.
I wish I had enough intelligence to work in the science field.
I am always smiling even when I am upset. 
I do not have a best friend.
I have become more girly.
I am pale.
I want more energy.
I have obsessive thoughts.
I am creative.
I am a deep thinker.
I over analyze situations.
I love water.
I am silly.
I like the blues.
I believe in aliens.
I like yoga.
I like to drink.
I like to laugh.
I fake laugh.
I am rarely happy and if I tell you you've helped.. appreciate it.
I want to be happy. 
I have mood swings.
I have severe anxiety.
I am tinted yellow.
I do not maintain relationships.
I am lonely.
I like indie.
I am funny.
I want to play the guitar.
I love my personality.
I want children.
I am innovative.
I love taking photos.
I am caring.
I love nature.
I like baking cupcakes.
I want my own garden.
I deal with severe depression.
I want to help anyone become a better person.
I challenge myself.
I am healing.
I have a low working memory.
I have a past.
I like 90's music.
I love pets.
I want more willpower. 
I like to experiment.
I am an instigator. 
I love to make people happy.
I never finish things.
I like constructive criticism.
I want to move.
I like being a bum.
I like to snack.
I am easily distracted.
I have a learning disorder.
I am above average in other learning areas. 
I want to be an art teacher.
I am in debt.
I am paranoid.
I want to start fresh.
I like cold showers.
I get jealous.
I am clumsy.
I love decorating.
I love family.
I love bright neon colors.
I like to cook.
I am mental.
I always have my toenails painted.
I only use black, gray or purple polish.
I can sing on tune.
I have a terrible singing voice.
I am a procrastinator.
I am trustworthy.
I am not afraid to be outgoing.
I want to learn more about outer space.
I am calm.
I am crazy.
I want to get married.
I am real.
I believe in karma.
I like tattoos.
I become easily unmotivated.
I have fast processing speed.
I have patience.
I am compassionate.
I like feeling wanted.
I am a visual learner.
I am not book smart.
I hate the color brown.
I hate pastel colors.
I constantly misplace things. 
I am finding myself.